Monday, April 28, 2008

Am I not a human to you?

Okie.. lemme give a sneak peek of what I have to write about the stupid VP of this company. Yes I have been a very patient person when it comes to his ways. He is a very abusive person. He abuses me mentally. Not just me, but also the other staff that is in his “least favourite” list.

Tell me how you would feel if your boss no longer views you as a person. He sees you as a cash cow.

I used to bring in at least RM10,000 a week into the company (40hours x my cheapest chargeable rate RM250) . Since I got pregnant, my productive hours had decreased due to my human incapability. Now I have reached my 38th weeks and also with not much job in hand (I believe it’s sort of our short recession), I believed I bring in only about RM1,040 –RM2000 a week. The immediate director (master yoda) that I report to since day 1 think it is better that I relax most of the time and just help him with some ad-hoc task. He can’t give me some heavy task that might drag for the next few weeks or months because I’m DUE soon. He even told me to do some self-enrichment study when I have no job to work on.

So I did. I spent most of my hours reading books relevant to Construction Dispute, in which I believe would improve my skills and add my knowledge. With that I know I can contribute better.

Even more, everyone thinks it is no good for me and the baby to be building up stress at this stage. So no one wants to give me any heavy task to work on and since we are all in the same team, I really appreciate their thoughts for being so understanding.

But then the VP thinks differently. He thinks I can do such reading on my own time and not at the company’s expense. He thinks it is my fault that I have no job to work on. And.. he thinks if I really have nothing to work on, I should start to take my leave.

What the …..? (Fill in the blanks as desired)

When he speaks to me of this matter, he really knows on how to choose his words well. Each sentence could imply different meaning if other people hears it. But as for me, I know what he really meant.

He said he’s concerned if I am not able to meet my forecast target this year. What would the USA office thinks? (like duuh…everyone knows I won’t meet my forecast target set by the USA office this year, that is because I will be on maternity leave for 2months.)

He then wonders if I am interested in my career growth. Not meeting my target forecast, would mean I won’t be promoted, no increment and no bonus. (Double duuuh…where does this guy learn management benchmarking?)

Well whatever it is, this incident really fired me up to pursue my Masters degree in 2009. I will resign and “upgrade” my knowledge level, coming back as a new and improved me. Then we see if I wanna join this team ever again.

Anyway.. lemme make it clear, I’ve been staying here long enough because of Master Yoda. He is a master that no Padawan could ever betray.

Do you filter?

Innuendoes and insinuations or are really points of substance. I kinda like that phase, picked it up from RPK’s posting.


My mind tends to be easily overloaded these days. Yes, not only I am pregnant body and soul. My pregnant mind is also heavy.

As I am writing this, I feel it is important for me to tell you that this child in my womb is having a hiccup. Why? I dunno, just feel like telling you. Also I’ve been drinking camomile tea the since 10.30am. Again why? I dunno, but it does give me this feel good factor.

Back to my pregnant mind.

I have decided that I will not write about my cunt boss (did I wrote cunt? I mean cunning), until perhaps when the baby is out. This is because I have decided to block him from the important part of my mind. I shall use the important part of my mind to prepare myself for labour.

So now, why is my mind still heavily burdened by unstoppable barrage of thoughts?

I am troubled by the attitude of the people that makes the world. Well actually, I have been troubled and I guess I am still troubled by these people that makes the world.

As a child, I keep on complaining to my father on how disappointed I am of my aunties and cousins. Their ways and thinking really bothers me. Imagine that, a child complaining about how adult or elder should act.

We live in a small town in Cameron Highlands and from there I came to a conclusion that geographic does play important role in shaping one’s way of thinking. I blame the climate there for these people’s shallow mind or so called traditional thinking. You know, since its cold…so its kind slow down the blood circulation to the brain a little bit. Next, I blame the terrains for these people’s PHD syndrome (Perasaan Hasad Dengki). Some people have better cars to travel around and the one that cannot really afford a car that fits the terrains there will end up building a nest for the green devil in their heart. However, in the end, the only consolation that my father ever gave me was “these are the people that makes the world. It would be boring if everyone thinks and act the same as how you want them to be”. True..true..true…

Aiyak..contraction…break for a be continued…..


Okie, my break took longer than expected.

I had a bad contraction on Friday. Totally drained me to the bone. I was forced to take a half day leave to have a rest at home. To fully describe my situation of that day, please imagine a wilted lettuce with my face on it. Yup..Yup..Yup..

And then, of course I don’t write on weekend.

Now here I am, Monday morning at the office. Again more waiting for labour to come.

I have just finished watching “the BLOG” on youtube. The so-called HARDTALK in RTM version. My hero was the guest. My conclusion of the program? It was good for a laugh. I felt this certain feeling that, these pro-government people at the pro-government TV station decided to invite RPK for a decent tongue slashing session. The host, being a malay, I believe that he was trying to stab the guest with indirect question. More or like a “contra proferentem” thing, where the meaning implies differently against the bringing forth. Memang melayu dia seloka, manis bicara dan halus bahasa. (quote from Ahli Fiqir)

Anyway, back to the real thing I wanna talk about. THESE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT MAKES THE WORLD.

Yes, these people are the colours of the world. The ones that makes the difference.

People’s belief, People’s ideology. People’s norm of life. People’s way of thinking.

These are the colours. That makes the world a more interesting place. There are times that theses colours could create a nice rainbow, but there are also times that the colours clashes and make us dizzy.

Try to imagine each person on earth as colours and each colours can be brighten and dimmed according to the mood or emotion of a person. These colours when nicely paired or matched will bring a certain harmonious feeling. These colours, even when paired with certain contrast colours, will bring a certain vibe to the surrounding. These colours when wrongly paired can bring a very irritating effect on a person that is looking at it.

The world will be a boring place if we only see monotone colours. But not everyone has the ability to appreciate these vibrant mixtures of colours. So what can we do?

My suggestion? FILTER.

Filtering in photographic can work wonders for the person that is taking the pictures.

Quote from wikipedia:

“Filters allow added control for the photographer of the images being produced. Sometimes they are used to make only subtle changes to images; other times the image would simply not be possible without them.

The negative aspects of using filters, though often negligible, include the possibility of loss of image definition if using dirty or scratched filters, and increased exposure required by the reduction in light transmitted. The former is best avoided by careful use and maintenance of filters, while the latter is a matter of technique; it usually will not be a problem if planned out properly, but in some situations does make filter use impractical.”

So filtering, it is good because you can choose to see what you want to see. But… if you are used to using filter all the time you might get too comfortable and start to neglect the truth.

Whatever option you choose to use, there is still the good side and the bad side. However, you just need to know on how to cover your backside from being bite by the reality. Yes, reality bites.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Blame the hormones, like how BN blame the bloggers.

Pregnancy hormones can pay 1001 tricks on you, no matter at what trimester you are in.

I’m in my 3rd trimester and since yesterday evening, I realized that I’m wearing this really annoying character.

I’m easily irritated and it caused me to be this annoying bitch(no no. Can’t use the word bitch. My bestfriend will be upset if she knows I’m taking over her title). Then what other adjective should I use to describe myself in this current situation? Later I figure out something la.. Maybe “MAK BUYONG ON THE NOOSE”?

Anyway, I think I did abuse some of the people that I have interaction with in this week.

Identified victims:

· My HUBBY (having to bear each moment of my constant complaining, blabbering and annoying request)

· Shirley& Julie (They just being sweet as they are, but there are times I think I make them feel uncomfortable with my complains)

· Lai Hong (not entertaining or reacting to her 1001 complains like how I used to)

· Malcolm (not looking at his face when answering his questions. Eg. Dah makan? Are you ok?)

· The Malay girl in the loo (coz I farted out loud in the toilet cubicle while she’s performing her ablution in the next cubicle. She must have felt disgusted and wanna vomit, but what to do? I’m pregnant. I have gas.)

· The toilet itself (for being so smelly. Wonder what are these people eating? Pheweee… making me want to puke)

· My best friend BITCH (for being a pregnant bitch, like me)

· All smokers that love to abuse their lungs and at the same time thinking it’s cool to pollute my lungs too.

· Stupid UMNO people and any other people out there that seems to be obsessed with pigs. (They are the creature of God too.. Boo, you whore!)

· Harun, my darling pet piggy. For being a pig.

There are also other people that I fantasize to abuse, verbally and physically. They are:

· The guard and the staff at the management office of the condo that I’m staying now.

For what, for being so stupid and not know the appropriate thing to react on urgent and dangerous matters. Why I choose to abuse them? Because, I came home to my apartment yesterday evening finding that my whole apartment was being filled with Gas. Yes, Gas..Gas we use for cooking. What happen was, the pipe connecting the tong gas to my stove got loose and came off…

As we were airing the house, the condo security guards came to our unit. My husband entertained them. I’m not in a stable mind to handle other people. My head was too “serabut” and I keep on thanking god that my piggy is still alive. If anything happen to him, I’m sure I’ll be in a great stress. (Wonder if it would induce labour?)

After they left, my husband told me. The neighbors have been complaining about the smell of the leaking gas since afternoon.. HUH? AFTERNOON! Lucky for us that there were no smokers around or some mischievous kid came to play with fire around our unit.

Now, now..Why am I still angry? Because I keep in having this flashes of events in my head on how things could have turned out to be. A crispy burnt condo unit with my dead piggy inside. What’s worse? We would endanger our neighbors too.

So now another question, why didn’t the management office call to alarm us of the situation?

· The second person I love to abuse right now and perhaps for the rest of my working days in this company, my boss.

Actually as I started writing this posting, I have a lot to write about him. But, I think today is not the appropriate day to open up his can of worms/maggots.


Anybody can conclude the lesson to be learned here?

(Please submit your vote before the next UMNO general election)

A) pregnancy hormones can turn you into a bitch

B) pregnancy hormones can make you realize and view things better

C) pregnancy hormones makes you have guilty conscious

D) beware of incompetent security guards and property managers

E) pregnancy hormones makes you hate your boss

Monday, April 14, 2008

I believe this is my first posting for the year 2008. Since it is my blog, I don’t really have to explain myself to anyone of what so ever on why I haven’t been writing. Also, as if I got fans whom constantly checking my blogspot for any new posting. If there are any fans out there that really did so, I should be polite and apologize. So…sorry la to my fans.

A lot have been happening since December 2007.

First, my political mind has been constantly stimulated by YM RPK of Malaysia Today. I know, I know... it is so not like me to only take from only 1 source of input without making any other comparison from another source. Truthfully, I why I stayed loyal to only this 1 source? It is because I fail to find any other source of sensible and logical thinking. Those other sources of information seem to be just another source of annoyance or entertainment to me.

Anyway, personally RPK reminds me of my own father when I was still living in the innocent world. Now, my father only keeps on giving me this “little advice”. He goes “what have you been reading and what gossip have you been telling your mother? She has been talking to people and I don’t think its wise for her to do so. She’s a government servant..” , and so the little advice goes on. He makes it sound as if we are living in Tehran and freedom of speech is something dangerous. Well, can’t really blame him for giving his 2cents from such point of view. He was also once a victim of a dirty political scheme. I might be too young on the happening of such event, but I can feel that it scarred him.

Secondly, my own comment on my last posting titled “The Unthinking Majority”. On 8th March 2008, the unthinking majority gave me a super huge surprise. They prove me wrong, leaving being “The Unthinking Minority”. Nope, that title is not really that correct. How about “The ones living in Oblivion?” No..No… Nope… This have gotten more complicated now, its not like they don’t think or living in the world of lies. I could feel like everyone is thinking now, in political sense. However, their ideology or the truth of what they stand by that makes the different. Well, whatever dever, I’m just proud that most of the people around me are using their brain for better purposes and not only for their daily errand running purposes only.

Okie, thirdly, we have talked enough about my pregnant mind that is heavy with political baby. Now I refer to my human baby. My Akachan Ningen. My bundle of joy that have this talent for football, kungfu and tai-chi (the kid can kick, man!).

Anyway, another funny stunt that my little one have been pulling off for quite a while now, on every ultrasound, he/she have been hiding the private part from us. Little trixy! (just like the mother I guess).

I’m now 36weeks, reaching the home-run. Truthfully? I’m really bored of 3rd trimester. So can I have the baby now? Wondering if I can harass my doctor to perform scheduled Cesarean or induced labour on me? I don’t think anyone would understand my seriousness on this issue (Unless the person reading this is also a first time mother like me).. The sleepless night, the frequent urination, the backpain, the pelvic pain, edema (its not the green Soya bean served at Japanese restaurant, edamame. Its water retention-swollen ankle)…and Aiyak, another contraction…its called Braxton-hicks contraction. Fancy name for false alarm contraction.

What is going on now in my womb? Quote from Wikipedia:

Your baby is now about 20 inches long and weighs about 6 lbs. Your once wrinkly baby is looking more and more like a plump newborn. Her growth will slow down now in preparation for birth but she is looking pleasantly chubby. Her cheeks are fuller and she has developed strong muscles that enable her to suck and also add to the filling out of her face. She may even have cute dimples on her elbows and knees and creases in her neck.

In terms of readiness for birth, baby is pretty much all systems go, with the exception of one thing: her digestive system. As she has been getting all her nutrition through the umbilical cord, her digestive system has not yet been operational, although it is developed. It will take the first year or two of baby’s life for it to become fully functional.”

Ahhh..isn’t that cute…Conclusion here, isn’t the bun suppose to be ready now? I got my emergency bag all packed. Even the baby bag is ready, filled with cute nappies and all the required and essential baby stuff.

My hubby has also been pulling off some cute stunts. Maybe just nervous or anxiety or excited to be a father. I wouldn’t want to embarrass him by sharing on the details in my blog. But then again, maybe some other day, I might.

Finally, work..hmm work…I’ll share that part some other time lah. Suddenly having this serious attack of lethargic. Yes, it happens to pregnant ladies!

TO BE CONTINUED…(work, stupid boss, stupid boss with smart mouth, stupid boss vs motherhood/working mom, my future plans for further studies, my very own family)
FUCK YOU UP!!! son of a bitch