Thursday, March 8, 2007

Who makes better PARENTS, the HUMANS or the WORLD? Part 1 (Parenting by a HUMAN)

We are in Cameron Highlands visiting my parents for a week. Home, a place that helps me to refresh my thinking.

However, I and my husband had trouble going to sleep last night. I think that the night was a bit hot and he thinks it’s cold.

One simple thought that was troubling me this whole one week, and the simple question would be “will I make a good parent?” So we started talking about this matter hoping that it will make out mind grow tired and finally let our body rest for the night.

Moreover, I am now a bit troubled by my 14years old brother going through a rebellious stage. He is constantly pulling up gimmicks in the attempt to hog attention from everyone around him. Recently, he fractured his knee for the third time within the period of less than 6months. Then before this incident, he was put under disciplinary action because of indecent act in public places with a girl a lot older than he is, the girl in which he had showered with luxury gift such as a branded handphone. From where did he get the money? Then about a year ago, he decided to take my Papa’s Mini for a quick spin and got into an accident with a newly painted taxi. The poor cabby got emotionally crushed seeing his new paint job damaged by this 146cm tall boy.

The both of us agreed that we have seen many people with many different upbringings. Some parents were good parents and the child grew up as expected. However there are some good parents that ended up having rebellious children. I have also seen bad parents with bad children, but I have also seen bad parents with children that can be called as the most successful human being.

So now, does parenting require the characteristic of being good or bad to produce the stereotype outcome expected from a growing child? Or, it takes a great whole of luck for the child to actually make it as a useful human for the future?

Examples; my parents. Me and my 2 younger brothers grew up differently, bonded well even though in a very weird way, while developing our own particular character and our parents have never agreed that they are good parents. Yes, I agree that they are not good parents, but I would also agree that they are better parents. My grandparents on my mom’s side, I believe that they are great parents because they are also the ones that contribute to who I am today. However, I wonder what went wrong because I really don’t like the way my aunts and uncle have turned out to be. Was it their parents’ upbringing or the world’s parentings have started to influence them?

I’ve been reading a few books on parenting, the psychological theories and also the religious teachings, resulting of making me feel like breaking away from this general rule of thumb. It has also slowly building up this fear in me of should I even have any children.

With my new career just starting, I’m getting confused of when to have my first child. And, if in the near future, I decide to try for a baby, who would I trust to take care of my little one? Would I take a year off from work? Would I come back straight to work and get my Mama or mum-in-law (I call her Ma) to be the nanny? Or, should I fight to have a day-care centre at the office. There are times I wonder if I’m living in denial.

But then again, what is the purpose of having children if you are not the one that is taking care of them? I might need and extra hand. A little help from Mama and Ma could do me good, but now, do I actually trust them in taking care of my child.

So now, does humans makes better parents?


….to be continued in PART 2 (is the world a better parent?)

2 comments:

stand-up philosopher said...

Wow,even the stand-up philosopher is lost with words on this one. I'm not one to tell you I know the answer to your profound question. I don't. I don't think anybody knows. As for me, I learn from the good books, from the gurus of motivation and positive thinking. Be absorbed in them. Make them our second nature and I'm sure as we aspire to be better human beings, we will be good parents..and people will notice and so will our kids. So lets work hard on ourselves and let all the positive energy flow out from us so that those in contact with us will benefit.

anden said...

phuuh...da pk2 nk jd parent yg berwibawa ek....haha...pedas tuh comment psl makcikpakcik....kang diorang trase laks....

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